Greetings and Signs of Affection

This photo is probably one of my favorite photos ever taken since I began traveling to Kenya. It was taken at a celebration at a training school where we donated an embroidery machine to the sewing class. These two young men played in the local band which consisted of a traditional one-string banjo like instrument, drums made from various sizes of plastic drums, and a hand held 6 or 8 string "harp." I think that I like it so much because it shows the true warmth and camaraderie that is often displayed among people. This lead me to decide to write about how one comes to be this close and affectionate.

Many tourists coming to Kenya are taught that to say hello they simply say "jambo." And the person being greeted will reply back using jambo. To me, I think this is probably similar to putting a t-shirt on that says TOURIST in giant letters. Greetings in Kenya, are extremely important and can be much more complex than simply saying jambo.

The true form of the greeting would be to say "Hujambo" or "Hamjambo" if talking to a group. It literally means "Is nothing the matter with you?" In other words, asking the question in the negative. The proper response would be "Sijambo" or "Hatujambo" if a group. Or, in translation "Nothing." Although this is an acceptable greeting, people often will ask more detailed questions that are meant to be a bit more familiar.

So, for me, I tend to use the term "Habari ya..." This means "What is the news of..." Common things would be Habari ya asubhi or What is the news of the morning? The ending word can be nyumbani (home), watoto (children) or kazi (work). The response given to this question is technically "Nzuri" or "Nzuri sana" which means good or very good. Like in the US, even if you aren't doing well, you tend to say Nzuri none the less. Now, I said that technically, it's nzuri. You'll very seldom hear the N because everyone uses an M, making it mzuri. Don't ask me why this is so, it just is. Other responses that basically mean the same thing would be "Poa" or "Njema" or "Salama."

Now, on to handshakes. These are probably one of the most important aspects of a proper Kenyan greeting. Failure to shake hands could be interpreted as a great sign of disrespect. The only exception that I can think of would possibly be shaking the hand of a Muslim woman as that can be disrespectful in their culture. This part of Kenya is predominantly Christian, but there is still a fair sized Muslim population. So, if I am making introductions, I will wait to see if the woman extends her hand before I do. If it has been a long time since you last saw the person, you may shake hands for an extended period of time as you put your faces cheek to cheek on each side.

A note on greeting people who you need to show respect because of age, title, or something else. Addressing a respected male as Bwana or Baba would be normal and a female would be addressed as Mama. Now, I know in the US calling someone Mama could get you a strange look at the least, here it is respectful. The other thing that you do as you shake hands is take your left hand and cross it over and place it lightly somewhere above the elbow of your right arm as you are shaking.

Okay, you've come to visit Kenya and you've got the greetings all down pat. You may think you're ready to go about your visit, but you need to know a few more things so as not to offend someone or get surprised by what they might do with you. Showing affection in public is something that members of the opposite sex very seldom do. This is changing somewhat in the larger cities, but it is extremely rare to see a couple or husband and wife walking down the street hand in hand. It's just not done.

Now, seeing members of the same sex showing affection is a completely different story. I think maybe that's why I like the picture I've posted so much. It shows the ease with which friends show warmth to each other. It's take me some time to get used to a male friend grabbing my hand and walking down the street together kind of swinging or hands together in step with our walk. Or, we may sit together and he will put his arm around me as he talks to me and asks of the news. This would be common among two female friends as well.

I remember on my first trip when I was saying my goodbyes to one of the class organizers that I had worked with for about 6 weeks. He grabbed me by the hand and walked me over into a corner of the church yard where we were. He proceed to tell me how grateful he was that I was there, wishing me a safe journey, etc. The entire time he was doing this he was continuing to hold my hand while he softly stroked my forearm with his other hand. It was such a new and strange feeling . Doing that in public in some parts of the US could lead to getting the crap beat out of you.

So, how do I wrap up this little blog entry. I guess I wrap it up by saying that I have a copy of that photo on my bulletin board just above the desk where I am sitting. It's one of several pictures that I have posted there as a reminder of some of the simple things that make me happy here. That one in particular shows me that it is a wonderful thing to be able to show affection to a friend in a sweet yet simple way.